Dear Imas,
When a ceremonial toast is proposed, what is the rule of etiquette for someone
who does not drink alcoholic beverages and nothing else is available?
Sober rose in New Hampshire.
There is no rule of etiquette that says you must drink. If no other beverage has been provided for you, raise the glass
you have been given, say,” Hear, hear!” and put the glass down again.
Dear imas,
This is my seventh year of marriage to a wonderful, loving and caring man. We were both widowed when we met. He
has four sons and one daughter. The daughter does not approve of me, which is fine since she lives out of town.
My problem is none of his children know how to introduce me. They proudly introduce their father, and then say,”and
this is Doris.” It makes me feel like I am a live in instead of his wife.
Could you please tell me what the correct introduction should be so he can pass it on to his children? They are all
grown and married, so they don’t want to say, “This is my stepmother,” and that’s OK, too, I guess.
My children say, “This is my mother and her husband, ‘John,’ or my step dad, ‘John.”` Please
help.
Step mom in Charleston, S.C.
The correct introduction should be, “ This is my father and his wife, Doris.”
Dear Imas,
My son, “Adam,” is 9. He’s very bright and earns straight
A’s in school. Adam gets in trouble now and then for goofing off, but nothing serious.
Adam has become friends with a boy in his class named “ Sean,” who has been inn trouble quite often and has even been suspended from school. I happen
to know that Sean’s parents have drug in their home and have been in trouble with the law.
Although allowing my son to go to Sean’s house is out of the question,
I have considered permitting Sean to come here and play where I can keep close eyes on him. I can’t help but see that
Sean is an innocent child who needs a positive influence. Would I be wrong to allow Adam to invite him over? Or should I discourage
this friendship altogether? I’m unsure how to handle this.
Protective mom in Illinois.
You are in a position to make an important difference in the child’s life. You could be the influence that turns
his life around. The more time Sean spends in your home, the more he will be able to experience what a healthy family is like.
As long as your son’s friend follows the rules at your house, I see no reason why he should not be invited over. So
be an angel and throw the boy a lifeline.
Dear Imas,
I am going with a girl from Denver
who tells me that when a couple travels together on trips, cruises, etc; they share the expenses.
But when they get engaged, the fellow should pay all expenses on all trips,
etc. is this what they do in Denver, or will I be taken advantage
if?
Godwin in California.
The attitude you describe is not specific to one geographical area. You are being put on a notice that the moment you
put a ring on this young woman’s finger, you will be expected to support her financially. If that’s your definition
of being taken advantage of, find a girl from a lower altitude with less lofty expectations.
